Royal Conspiracies by Tsukino Shingo
by Hitsuji Kinno
Summary: Conspiracy theories by Shingo about Crystal Tokyo. Series of stand alones.
1. Cats not at Wedding

Since it is Shingo we're dealing with here, he is being the brother to Usagi he usually is. I did try to stick to the manga facts, though I slipped in two anime ones for a laugh.. if you get it.

* * *

Dear Reader,

This is my first issue of this magazine, I hope to clear any rumors surrounding my sister, and to uncover the truth of what goes on at the Crystal Palace. I hope to give you an insider's view. Let me explain about this magazine, some may say I am bitter because I was not given a position and a title for being the Queen's brother, but this is not true. I truly am not bitter about this development, so I have chosen to make this magazine instead and inquire into the real goings-on of the newly established Crystal Tokyo.

Sincerely,

Tsukino Shingo

* * *

On a beautiful September day the new king, Endymion, and the new Queen, Neo-Queen Selenity got married. This beautiful couple are king and Queen of the Earth, after they threatened everyone to accept the healing of a magical crystal called the ginzuishou, which reportedly retards growth in the young population. It was a joyous event with flowers, candies, and many cakes. But this event was shadowed by the fact that two people, rather cats were missing from this event. Royal Conspiracies is out to investigate this occurrence. We smell a conspiracy.

It is my belief that the cats, who were supposedly also at their own wedding, were in fact furthering the delusion that my sister, and brother-in-law are really in charge, when it is they who are in charge. I have even found and pried into Usagi's secret diary on the on-goings of the senshi. While we all know the Queen doesn't try too hard on her kanji, I have found the following evidence.

The cats in question are named Artemis and Luna. They are about 20 years old in human years. They are reported to be changelings and also the founders of the Sailor Senshi. They are aliens from another planet called Mau and are admittedly not neutered or spayed. I find them suspicious because they've never been attacked, according to my sister's diary, and they have special powers such as telekinesis, and the ability to type at a computer and to speak fluent Japanese.

When I questioned the Queen, she became very pale and upset over the idea. She even ran off to the bathroom to throw up. I know the report that she is pregnant has been made, but it is also my belief that she knew my inquiries were true. I have evidence from leading doctors who say that often painful memories produce this effect.

"Yes, this has been documented, I remember in medical school hearing about this phenomenon," says Sailor Mercury, one of the Sailor Senshi protecting the palace, and by far the best looking of them, "they vomited when they started to remember painful memories, especially associated with the war."

My new brother-in-law, King Endymion, also said, "They didn't even give a response to the invitation."

I tried to approach Sailor Venus on the fact that her cat was missing for the wedding, but she wouldn't comment. At this point, I would like to point out that this person is in need of sever help. She has chased down idols and stalked them, she has even posed as Princess Selenity.

As a matter of fact none of the senshi could comment on the whereabouts of these two felines during a very important day. This only feed into my theory that these felines are actually aliens and have control of the entire government. As they have only been bashed in the head a few times according to the battle records, it is my belief that they are creating this new world under their rule.

I have even found that Luna, the cat that my sister keeps, even sounds like one of their past enemies who went by the name of Queen Beryl.

I, in fact, believe that this Sailor from the planet Mau was bringing the felines to justice, and my sister was led to believe that it was an enemy so my sister, as Eternal Sailormoon would get rid of her. Who knows what these felines have done on their home planet to get cast out into a remote part of the universe. Their powers are so strong that they have even the Sailor Senshi from the other solar system fooled into believing they are not enemies. The Senshi from the Outer solar system have failed in their mission to protect this world from outside invaders.

So it is my conclusion that these "cats" actually plan to take over our planet. They have been around the senshi long enough to delude them, and to throw "Royal Conspiracies" off, they did not show up at the wedding. If they continue this they will take over the universe.


	2. Royal Princess Scandal

Dear Readers,

Yes, I haven't been writing much of this lately. It can't be helped. I was sued for libel! Now, you know how preposterous that is. I have never lied to you about the inside scoop on Crystal Tokyo. I have added a section for "Letters to the Editor" this time.

Yes, I heard that I, Tsukino Shingo, was a sore loser. But, my dear readers, I am the only one supporting our parents in these gregarious times. It is not I, who is living off of my parents in their attic, it is I that is the only one supporting them. This is disgraceful! Please enjoy this issue of to support my parents in these horrible times.

Sincerely,  
Tsukino Shingo

* * *

Note: Some of the following has been edited to reflect the true feelings of the reader.

To Whom this may concern:  
I think your magazine is a piece of (ed. great work!) How come you could get away with that telling the truth! The King and Queen must be infuriated (ed. -ly happy).  
--concerned (ed. about future of Royal Conspiracies)

Dear Beloved Reader:  
Yes, no need to thank me! It will continue as scheduled. This month's issue contains the truth behind my niece, Princess Tsukino Usagi Small Lady Serenity. However, it's not for the faint of heart.  
-- The Editor

* * *

To the Editor:  
I love your magazine it's so funny (ed. it's serious). All I wanted to know is if you truly do live in your parents' attic. I thought I saw you yesterday in the attic, since I am a member of the media, like you.  
-- Just curious

Dear Beloved Reader:  
You must be mistaken. I was trying to look for lost money, that I swore I hid up there. There are quite a few valuables up in the attic.  
-- The Editor

* * *

Our Princess, and our savior, Princess Tsukino Small Lady Serenity, was recently born to the queen, my sister, who is now 22. It surely was a joyous event-- everyone heralded the coming of our new Princess.

However, for those who can do their math, this is most disturbing! This is because for those of you who can do math, the gestation period for a normal human is nine months. However, it's only been eight months since the King and Queen, my beloved Sister and brother-in-law, got married. Something doesn't make sense, we smell another conspiracy! We are out to investigate.

To warn you, this is not for the faint of heart! As I mentioned in our last issue, the retardation of growth has become a serious issue. I, myself, was forced to accept the healing of the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou. I would like to address this issue further.

It is my firm belief that this evil crystal of "healing" is causing prematurity in our youth, and is adversely causing a permanent stop of growth. Who knows what horrors this will do to our precious Princess who is to inherit the throne (if she ever will)?

So, Royal Conspiracies is out to investigate this conspiracy!

Of course, the most reputable source is Sailor Mercury who is no longer my favorite. Yes, I heard people say she snubbed me, and doesn't like dating younger boys, but this is not true! I simply do not like her anymore. I found out from this snobby guardian of the palace who said, "Yes, it is true that it lengthens life, and seems to have that effect on children, but it's unlikely it will have an effect on the new Princess." I came to the conclusion that she must have also taken the healing of the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou, and therefore must be brainwashed.

So, I went to the next best source, the closest person that looks like my sister, and once impersonated her. I was pretty sure that she would tell the truth, but all I got were lies from Sailor Venus. She said to me, blushing, "Well, you know that they must have done IT before the wedding." Before I could inquire into what she meant, I was rudely interrupted by a stern Sailor Mars, who told me to go home.

I would now like to say, that I strongly think that Sailor Mars is plotting to take over the throne! She has that air about her! I'm sure she'd like to be the wife of my brother-in-law, and is suspicious that I will catch on to this.

So I continued my investigation into these matters by borrowing the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou and taking it to a jeweler, who could assess what it actually does to our youth. I was told that it was priceless, but to find out what I needed to know, I had to go to a doctor. So, I naturally went to Dr. Mizuno, leading doctor in the medical field, well known for her research into thrombosis, and ulcers. She apparently treated my brother-in-law when he was a young man, for coughing up black blood. (This is from the Queen's journal, which I plan to sell on the Crystal Tokyo E-bay to the highest bidder.)

I'm convinced the doctor was on drugs, because she laughed at me, and asked me if I was cramming for College entrance exams yet! I found this quite rude, but she took my questions, which I was quite glad at.

She told me that there is no way that the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou could stunt growth in a pregnant woman due to the placenta. She said that it wouldn't do anything to the Queen's baby. As I stared into her eyes, I realized that despite her bitter divorce, that she, too was brain washed.

I would have gone and asked the King himself to question him on the well-being of my niece, but I was arrested under false pretenses. I, now, write this journal from prison, on my computer lap top which I will not be allowed for much longer.

As I write this, people are saying that the royal family says that I was selling the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou on Crystal Tokyo E-bay, but I assure you this is not true. I just was trying to sell copies of it, and forgot to type that it was a copy in the header. You can check Crystal Tokyo E-bay sometime. I am sure they are confusing it with the journal of my sister, which I assure you is genuine.

I have yet to see my niece, but I'm sure I will see her soon, and I will continue this investigation as soon as I can to bring you the truth about the Royal Family.


End file.
